Anxious

Joshua 1:5... "I will be with you, I will never leave you nor forsake you"

I needed to read that verse today. A friend on Facebook had it on her status and it was just what I needed this morning. I woke up feeling terribly anxious. Even now, as David sits happily eating his cereal watching Toy Story 2, I look at him and could cry.

About 1% of people have peanut allergies. 1%! I read that statistic last night, and couldn't help but feeling slighted. I know that it could be worse. I know that he isn't sick, and I'm not losing him. I know that a life without peanuts is easy compared to what some children have to deal with. I just have this weight of responsibility. What if we take him to a restaurant and there are peanuts there? What about school? Will he have to sit at a special table? Will he be picked on? What if I don't check a label on a food product properly before giving him something and it has trace peanuts in it, or he's at a friends house and his mom makes peanut butter cookies without realizing.

I think about even Chruch nursery, playgroups, and all the parties/get together's we go to. Will he be able to eat anything when I don't know how it was prepared, or whats in it? Will I have to inconvenience everyone in our social group to protect David, if so I'll do it.

I have these Epi pens, but I never never want to have to use them. I'm so terrified the next reaction will be worse. Yesterday really scared me and I think I was just so relieved that it wasn't worse that I didn't really feel this anxiety of the future until this morning.

I just need to focus on God, and what he wants to teach me in this moment. I need to trust that He loved David more than Stephen and I do. I need to know that he's a covenant child of God and he's chosen for his kingdom and not this broken world. I know if God will never forsake me, then he'll never forsake David either.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day.